Autism and Bullying: How to Protect Your Child

Understanding the Link Between Autism and Bullying

Children with autism are disproportionately targeted by bullies, with some studies showing bullying rates as high as 94% compared to 10-20% for neurotypical children. This stark difference isn’t coincidental – it stems from several factors unique to autism spectrum conditions.

Dr. Emily Lovegrove, known as “The Bullying Doctor,” explains that children naturally identify differences in their peers. For autistic children, these differences might include unique behavioral patterns, communication styles, or sensory sensitivities that make them stand out. As she notes, “These differences aren’t wrong or weird – they’re simply different, but that difference can unfortunately attract negative attention.”

A concerning finding from research by Toseeb et al. (2020) reveals that autistic children often don’t escape bullying when they return home – they’re more likely to experience sibling bullying as well. This means many children with autism face bullying in multiple environments without respite.

Recognizing Signs of Bullying in Autistic Children

One of the greatest challenges for parents is that autistic children may not communicate that they’re being bullied. Some may lack the language skills to express what’s happening, while others might not recognize certain behaviors as bullying. This makes it essential for parents and educators to be vigilant for warning signs.

Physical and Behavioral Warning Signs

Michelle Rebello, who works with Dimensions (a UK support provider for people with autism), shares from personal experience: “I always felt different from other kids in my class. I was eccentric and could be a bit of a chatterbox. My autism was undiagnosed when I was a child, so I didn’t receive any special adjustments or support. To everyone else, I just seemed a bit odd, and unfortunately, I was bullied for that.”

Proactive Strategies to Protect Your Child

Prevention is always preferable to intervention after bullying has occurred. By implementing proactive strategies, you can significantly reduce your child’s risk of being bullied and equip them with tools to handle difficult situations.

Building Your Child’s Social Skills and Confidence

While we should never expect autistic children to change who they are to avoid bullying, certain skills can help them navigate social situations more confidently:

Working with Your Child’s School

Schools play a crucial role in preventing and addressing bullying. A collaborative approach between parents and educators creates the strongest safety net for autistic children.

Ron Sandison, author and autism advocate, shares advice from his own experience: “My advice for parents who have a child with autism is to find a friend for their child who is a year older and will help prevent bullying, since bullies tend to pick on children who are alone. The peer friend will also help your child learn social skills.”

How to Respond When Bullying Occurs

Despite our best prevention efforts, bullying may still occur. Having a clear response plan helps you act quickly and effectively to protect your child and prevent further incidents.

Immediate Steps to Take

When Schools Don’t Respond Adequately

If your school fails to address bullying effectively, you may need to escalate your concerns:

• File a formal complaint with the school district’s special education department
• Contact your state’s Department of Education
• File a complaint with the Office for Civil Rights if the bullying is disability-related
• Consider consulting with a special education advocate or attorney
• Explore alternative educational options if necessary to protect your child

Building Resilience and Self-Advocacy

While we work to prevent bullying, we must also help our children develop the inner strength to cope with challenges. Resilience doesn’t mean tolerating bullying – it means having the emotional tools to maintain self-worth despite negative experiences.

Strategies to Build Your Child’s Emotional Resilience

Creating a Culture of Acceptance and Inclusion

The most effective long-term solution to bullying is creating environments where differences are understood and valued. This cultural shift requires effort from everyone – parents, educators, and the broader community.

Promoting Autism Understanding in Schools

Schools that actively promote understanding of autism and neurodiversity create safer environments for all students. Consider advocating for:

• Age-appropriate autism awareness programs for all students
• Staff training on autism, neurodiversity, and inclusive practices
• Peer buddy programs that foster natural friendships
• School-wide anti-bullying initiatives that specifically address disability-based bullying
• Sensory-friendly spaces and activities that include all students

Dr. Lovegrove shared an effective exercise she uses with children: she teaches them that if they see someone being bullied, simply standing beside them – without saying anything – can make a powerful difference. As more children join, the bully loses the social reward they were seeking.

Moving Forward: Hope and Action

The journey to protect your autistic child from bullying may seem daunting, but remember that positive change is possible. By combining proactive prevention, swift response to incidents, resilience-building, and advocacy for cultural change, you create layers of protection for your child.

As Angela Chapes, an autistic self-advocate, reminds us: “Because of what I went through, I don’t bully others or make fun of people. It is wrong. I did it. I have been through it. I don’t want others to feel how I felt when I was bullied.”

Your efforts to protect your child today contribute to a more accepting world tomorrow – one where neurodiversity is celebrated rather than targeted. With knowledge, persistence, and the right support, you can help your child navigate these challenges and thrive.